sometimes

sometimes

courage is waking up in the morning

 

sometimes

it’s entering the bathroom and standing under the shower,

staring into space.

 

sometimes it’s going to places you often venture like the grocery mart

 

sometimes it’s going to college or school to seek an education

 

sometimes it’s learning a foreign language or eating a new type of food

 

and sometimes

 

sometimes it’s waking up in the morning

and actually staying awake.

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protector

I hate how

because of all the hurt and pain you put me through,

I have to harden myself to ensure I don’t become like you

but that is the very thing you want, don’t you?

To harden my heart,

to break my own soul.

You thrive off the people who enjoy life

thrive off people’s pain and problems

because you yourself feel pain.

And I think no matter how hard I try to understand, I never will

because your job as a protector,

is to protect.

Not the other way round

not to harm and cause harm

but that is what you do,

and I hope you suffer.

Because what you put me through,

is not something people should go through.

Perhaps in time I may come to terms with it,

perhaps I may even understand it,

but for now,

no.

For now you get back what you had coming,

you get back what you deserve.

 

the softest ones

You know I never understood why the softest ones suffer

Isn’t it bad enough that they are tortured

too hard a place this world has become

too much exterior has been put in place to come undone

 

to stop feeling is to erase my essence

the very thing that produces electroluminescence

how can we watch and be hypnotised by evanescence

would that not object us to obsolescence

 

come come, hear hear

we mustn’t let them near

for they are the ones who will vanquish our light

and kill our being souls despite

being told that we shall ignite

and bring peace to this world ;

alight.

 

anxiety

I took three showers today

my anxiety just doesn’t seem to go away

I slept at three last night

oh dear, what an uncomfortable fright

I didn’t eat breakfast, nor did I lunch

just in between meals, just a bunch

I had a panic attack this morning

you’ll never hear me this clear

out of bed I was crawling

please don’t come near

No, wait, come back, I didn’t mean what I said

please stay with me, I’m awfully scared

oh no, don’t go,

don’t leave me alone

I don’t know if I can do this on my own.